Away from comfort, I shall start this journey! Today was the day where I finally started planning out my year, my new chapter and my new ambitious self! All in the power to do good and be good, I have developed a well-structured timetable where I can retrain my body, my mental capabilities, and my inner peace.
Although I have scheduled something that is simple, I feel that having a simple and clear objective will provide a clear and stable conscious of the way I want to work in the coming months. Together with this I have evaluated and sought to extract the dream goal to which I want all of this to unfold on, and with the sheer commitment, I will hard to redevelop my portfolio and focus on attaining this position.
Through Learning, Hard work, Graditute, and Self Empowerment I will reach the next level of excellence.
I’m not shy to say this but I have days like today, where I feel I lost my way.
I apply for jobs, one after the other and although the majority will say that they are impressed at how many milestones and achievements I have obtained at such young age, I feel I don’t know who I am! After over 500 applications, I feel I lost it all.
This reminds me when at my 3rd grade, I felt I had nothing worth and somehow I didn’t get anything in class and was too slow to understand anything. Not only have I conquered the coming years, but I have savagely worked day and night to reach all possible milestones to be here today. Although I did have setbacks, I did struggle, I was constantly bullied, and stupidly judged, I have fought like a real fighter and really did my utmost to beat any negative vibes.
I want to get that young spirit, that wild and fearless Michelle back in my life. Life is not easy and I don’t want it easy. It will push me down and I will forcefully pull myself back up.
I am not in shape, I am not happy like this, I have an option to get this vibe out of the system and WORK back up. No matter all the No’s and rejections that I will get, I am going to work my ass off.
I will make 2018 a great year. I am going to give it my best, and I will be the wild child that will push away all the negative stance that people echo in my ears. I will push away my negative and sense of giving up into one that wants to achieve. I have lived, worked and had rough days the past two years, but I never gave up on anything I did.
There are good people, out there. I am one of them too.
For today’s agenda I shall talk about the aesthetic and narrative that I am developing so far. It’s a bit complicated but bare with me.
So as I said earlier before the narrative that I am exploring is that of an individual that is facing inner dilemma, and he escapes within the wonders of his inner childhood and dreams. It sounds complicated, and to some extent it is. Nonetheless, what I am trying to capture is an aesthetic that delineate and submerges well the scope and resonating factor of the medium in the context of the narrative.
This in all intent is possible, yet I am finding it hard to actually express it in solid 3d spaces. To this I have been considering shifting the essence of 3d aesthetic into something that is more 2d in a bear essence. This sounds awesome, but developing enough power to gain this is somewhat hard and I need a vibe of momentum that will ignite me to find something interesting within.
Looking through splendid work of Glenn Keane and his wonders, I was awestruck how such a 2d animator could evoke 3d elements even within the essence of flat planes.
I know that here there is something deep through which I should look closer. There is something deep, that if I analyse deeply I will find my way into expressing this confusion of thoughts that I have within my head.