I’m not shy to say this but I have days like today, where I feel I lost my way.
I apply for jobs, one after the other and although the majority will say that they are impressed at how many milestones and achievements I have obtained at such young age, I feel I don’t know who I am! After over 500 applications, I feel I lost it all.
This reminds me when at my 3rd grade, I felt I had nothing worth and somehow I didn’t get anything in class and was too slow to understand anything. Not only have I conquered the coming years, but I have savagely worked day and night to reach all possible milestones to be here today. Although I did have setbacks, I did struggle, I was constantly bullied, and stupidly judged, I have fought like a real fighter and really did my utmost to beat any negative vibes.
I want to get that young spirit, that wild and fearless Michelle back in my life. Life is not easy and I don’t want it easy. It will push me down and I will forcefully pull myself back up.
I am not in shape, I am not happy like this, I have an option to get this vibe out of the system and WORK back up. No matter all the No’s and rejections that I will get, I am going to work my ass off.
I will make 2018 a great year. I am going to give it my best, and I will be the wild child that will push away all the negative stance that people echo in my ears. I will push away my negative and sense of giving up into one that wants to achieve. I have lived, worked and had rough days the past two years, but I never gave up on anything I did.
There are good people, out there. I am one of them too.
This is my mission.
Stay Awake, Stay Focused and Stay Positive.
After 3 weeks keeping myself busy and focused, there is already a sense of change within me. I’m looking at things in ways, that I have not done in quite a while. Away from everything that is dull and real, I’m trying to extract and understand the sheer reality of beauty. Although this beauty is not a presentation, I’m focusing on how to become more positive and vibrant within my daily commutes and working environment.
Taking away all that responds to negative thoughts, I am pushing myself into understand the motivational and promising voice within myself. This kind of cheer, was real when I was young ; growing up and somehow through life worries and anxieties I turned all of this into a sheer package of fear and negativity.
Trying to take this turmoil away I am trying to face, and challenge myself in becoming good and appreciative person. Depending on nobody, and comparing myself to nobody I am trying to focus just on my journey. Unlike other years I am taking and reviewing other people success, as an example and way forward within this journey.
Understanding, that my journey is unique, mine and it has a fulfilling quality that only I need to see and work on it. Focusing on it, with all my heart and strength will be my guiding force to be good and do good things.
The energy that there is within the video is somewhat beautifully remarkable, and this is the energy that we all should convey to all the doubts and fears that restrict and make us disbelief of what we can do.
Cheers to another Positive Week.
The project that I am currently working on is somewhat different from the rest. The intention for this project is to invoke a sense of happiness, positivity and profound understanding on projecting something that is all but willingness to portray goodness.
Unlike other projects that I have worked on in the past, this project seeks to identify the purpose and the real value of happiness. Staying away from marks, achievements, the real goal that this project wants to evoke is the real sense of self confidence, acceptance and more than ever a real sense of self empowerment.
In the first phase of this project I will focus on the mind, and body. Taking into considerations all aspects, I will try to find a good balance of soul purification and self understanding of these inner struggles. Although this might be hard, and somewhat impossible, I’m ready to commit in doing this for my self good.
This personal journey will seek to create again my inner self discipline aspect, leadership quality, acceptance, and more than ever a remapping of my self significance in this life that i’m living in.
Dream Big, Stay focused and Listen to your heart!
Commencement Date : 13th February 2018