When the going gets tough, the tough get going

Right now I’m working on my first 3d work of 2018.

 

It’s been a long time coming, but it is fine. I have given myself time off, to breath and live. To stop pressuring myself and feel that it is fine not to be constantly perfect. Being an artist or any sort of creative is not an easy way of being, but it is who I am. Somehow although I acknowledge this power, I feel sometimes lost and not confident at all.

Constantly going to job interviews, and getting the same response has not really helped me at all. To this, I have questioned and asked myself so many questions to which I have never experienced before. Looking at things and unfocusing on me, has made me struggle again what I really want to be. What is my goal in life? Is it really this? Is this what I worked but ass off? Is this what I deserve?

Having been on schedule, on point, in time and well coordinated for the past twenty years, I feel that this is all new to me. I feel that I have constantly conditioned who I was to the system that defined me. Funnily enough, I did everything right but nothing that right. I sought to gain knowledge in places where they blind me from the real raw reality of life. Only now I acknowledge this mental paralysis that has defined me for so many years, has really changed who I am.

Taking all of this and acknowledging my pitfall, I am trying to live in the now. Forget about my worries and past battles that I have still not shaken away. I feel I sometimes live in the past and the future and never focus on the now, which I feel bad thinking about it now.  I hunger to live, but I feel scared it will soon fade away. I need to understand that this is fine, and I have only now to live for. Tomorrow is nothing but a prediction, and this is what I need to think about and understand.

There is self-worth in me and I know. Although not everyone will think this about you, the person that matters is you and only you. The worth is not the many palaces you buy and the beautiful cars you drive, but it is the untouchable beauty that resides in you. I have dreams to case and birds to let loose.

People that we love will never fade away, and this is what will testify the passing of time. Only memories like this should live in me. Let go of what you can’t fix and pursue the best parts of what makes you. Kill all the insecurities and case the beautiful now with all your heart.

This expression is mine, and there is nothing wrong with it.

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michelinmission I know you can find yourself again!

its here again

Guess who is back !!

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Bob is back! 😀

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So Glad to have him back on track with the rest of my coming projects. Bob is the kiddo that never lost hope, and in fact, he turned 1 this month. I’m so happy to have planned and geared some matter to his direction, to a possible dope video.

My storyboard is underway and I will soon be posting some storyboard ideas I had in mind to get this character back on track.

What else?

Oh I found this interesting ceramic artist the other day and thought to share it here:

 

The designs she is able to create the reused material is impressive and somewhat incredible. Although she did fail, haha she didn’t keep herself from doing what she really loved. This is a testimony that doing what you love is the only success you need.

I have been preparing a lot of material for the coming lectures and all of this is quite exciting! My students are doing an amazing job with their portfolio and I am very happy with their performance.

Hope you too are having an amazing sunny day as mine.

All the best micheliners.

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Michelinmission

it all starts here

Away from comfort, I shall start this journey! Today was the day where I finally started planning out my year, my new chapter and my new ambitious self! All in the power to do good and be good, I have developed a well-structured timetable where I can retrain my body,  my mental capabilities, and my inner peace.

Although I have scheduled something that is simple, I feel that having a simple and clear objective will provide a clear and stable conscious of the way I want to work in the coming months. Together with this I have evaluated and sought to extract the dream goal to which I want all of this to unfold on, and with the sheer commitment, I will hard to redevelop my portfolio and focus on attaining this position.

Through Learning, Hard work, Graditute, and Self Empowerment I will reach the next level of excellence.

Stay Focused and Positive Micheliners!

MichelinMission 🙂

Feeling like a total fail.

I’m not shy to say this but I have days like today, where I feel I lost my way.

I apply for jobs, one after the other and although the majority will say that they are impressed at how many milestones and achievements I have obtained at such young age, I feel I don’t know who I am! After over 500 applications, I feel I lost it all.

This reminds me when at my 3rd grade, I felt I had nothing worth and somehow I didn’t get anything in class and was too slow to understand anything. Not only have I conquered the coming years, but I have savagely worked day and night to reach all possible milestones to be here today. Although I did have setbacks, I did struggle, I was constantly bullied, and stupidly judged, I have fought like a real fighter and really did my utmost to beat any negative vibes.

I want to get that young spirit, that wild and fearless Michelle back in my life. Life is not easy and I don’t want it easy. It will push me down and I will forcefully pull myself back up.

I am not in shape, I am not happy like this, I have an option to get this vibe out of the system and WORK back up. No matter all the No’s and rejections that I will get, I am going to work my ass off.

I will make 2018 a great year. I am going to give it my best, and I will be the wild child that will push away all the negative stance that people echo in my ears. I will push away my negative and sense of giving up into one that wants to achieve. I have lived, worked and had rough days the past two years, but I never gave up on anything I did.

There are good people, out there. I am one of them too.

This is my mission.

Stay Awake, Stay Focused and Stay Positive.

Michelinmission 

Clearing off my room

Today, marking one week off this journey I kicked it off with a big cleansing operation. Moving all my work in a new room, I took off unwanted stuff and started clearing off, years of hidden treasures. It was not easy but now I feel accomplished, and clearer. Somehow checking and removing unwanted items was a necessity I had to do after graduating, but never had the real time and dedication to do.

I feel that start afresh, renovating and changing my space is somewhat needed. Although I have always been allowed to work in any space given, I honestly have never had my own studio. My room and this has created a sort of constant anxiousness within me. Having my mom complaining about all the clutter, I feel at times I had to stick to my guns and finish a task no matter what.

Having a space to be is somehow liberating. A space, where the only rules and position is only yours.

Some cool shelfing I have been looking into;

Mi sueño, algún día tendré un estudio así.

Drawers - perfect flat storage. Would die for a wall of these. For the paper, the wood, acrylic ect...

 

office idea - desk with shelves for lots of books, etc.

Speak Soon Micheliners.

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Michelinmission

 

What do I really want to be?

 

There is a lot to this question that I have invested my entire childhood seeking to understand. Looking back in the development of understanding this, I realized that the quest in finding this answer is somehow always somewhere in the future. It is a metamorphosis that develops and inherits effects, experiences through out the journey ahead.

Something that is profound is that although sometimes even getting to your aspired destination, somehow a missing link is always there. Taking on my aspirations, I have always been casing the dream of becoming an animator. Having achieved this in its full glory, I understand that somehow, my life is more than this. To this desire to be more, achieve more, I am in the middle of a cross road to find and understand the deeper sense, of this presence on this earth. One can argue that this can be through my own animation, it is indeed. But, my intellect can understand that there is something deeper to which I still need to dive into and discover.

Funnily enough seeing that these post blogs are not being read by not a sheer amount of people, I feel I can express myself, and somehow, I can build my real self, with no sense of judgement and alter observation of who I am. This is me, and I will let nothing to stop me being who I am.

Like any other person on this planet, I feel down at times, happy at times, emotional at times, and this is perfectly fine. Social Media, tend to spread and evoke the sense that whatever the end user is doing is wrong.

The social reality that I will follow, will only be my own reality. I trust myself, my abilities, and I am worthier more than a Hellenistic Portrayal of a profile, I need to adjust myself into.

(who doesn’t like justified paragraphs; for so many times, I was told not to justify, but the linearity of it all makes me feel at rest)

This is me, my imperfect journey to happiness.

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Michelinmission

HIBERNATION TIME almost OVER

Sometimes you need to step away from what you re presenting and analyse to full extent what you would like to achieve with all of this work. Through the past months I have been working and developing my skills into becoming better and more proficient in what I do.

Rediscovering techniques, reanalyzing methods of practices I started to understand how much I still have to understand within this world that I live in.

From pitching, to project management, to Python and all the chaoticness that logic brings with, diverged into compositing  and animation configurations, I have given myself time to learn and digest all the greatness that knowledge and time can offer.

The missions will soon take of to a new level of grandiosity. I belief that great things will come my way.

[STAY +] MICHELINMISSION

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#mondays

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#2 thejourney

Throughout the past two weeks, I have worked upon discovering and analysing the element of social reality within the eye of a mobile phone. Through this development I started to formulate ideas that move along the elemental quality of living within such a contemporary setting of engaging and exploring the possibility to communicate with one another.

Within the work that I developed, a recurrent influential element transmitted from one work to the next. The element of constant detachment and connection, started to bring out the elemental dichotomy of the whole situation. The beauty that such a medium and interaction allows, ventures within the difficulty to resolve into the ability to connect from one matter to the next.

The sense of numbness and vernacularity that this work is providing, unveils a clear insight to the reality we are all engaging with.

 

Follow the process on Instagram @thesocialreality – daily uploads are shared following this dichotomy.

https://www.instagram.com/thesocialreality/