This was the most imperfect year ever, but that’s ok.
For the first time in my life, I got to live and acknowledge all the insecurities that a young artist can ever encounter when getting into adulthood. First jobs, first deadlines, the first real epic fails and the real-life encounter with pain.
What did I learn from all these setbacks?
Hehe, what I learned is that there is never a right answer to our lives. It is a meander that develops and grows with us. Similar to an airplane setting off from LA to somewhere – the destination and the path that we decide to live in will change and depend on what we do with our actions. Setbacks will be there to challenge us and really make us think deeper of who we are and what we are in this world. Although, for the 99% of the population thy existence does not acknowledge the matter for the 1% is what makes us want to try again and challenge all the nos until finally, we get to the path we all dreamt off. So the setbacks have truly helped me to acknowledge my power and the sheer need to be more, and share more of my goodness.
Where to next?
This blog started off with a mandatory assignment that I had to follow. Although four years ago I did not understand the fullness of this journey, today I feel that I can use this as a way to filter and find answers for my inner self. I want to create more visually compelling work, that I can express these emotions, find the power to touch people and find solace in what I create.
A mission is something we all look after and seek to attain in ourselves. There are instances where it is easy to identify and sometimes it takes a lot of time and patience. In the last few months, I have sought to identify this call and mission. I looked and lived life to understand the energy and the life I would like to diverge myself into.
Happily today I can say that I have found this mission. The mission is that to do whatever makes me happy and live every day with a great sense of purpose and worth. Life is full of problems and I understood this by accepting and living each and every moment.
Embracing it in this way I will continue to strive and develop my artistic and creative tone into beautiful works of art.
It’s been a long time. But things are moving forward.
It’s been a long month. With all its hardships, I feel that I have opened up my eyes to new possibilities. Although it is fine that I have made mistakes, I feel that I am stronger and better than ever before. Although their might be not a lot of successful turns and developments within this year, one thing that I acknowledge that this year is providing is a sense of determination and the persistence to keep going no matter what.
It is somehow necessary for me to be part of this journey, to live these moments somehow they are pushing me to become stronger, better and most importantly acknowledging the power that I have in me. The only value that I retain is that of myself and this is a beauty that I have long forgotten about myself.
My creative pulse is alive and it will stay alive until the day mother nature takes me back into her loving hands.
Some of the things that kept me going were the fact that I accepted the time and the given moments at hand. Trying to reduce the problems and the amount of stress I gave up on seeing too much into my life and responded to just being within the present.
I refined the mesh much more and hopefully, I can create other assets to build up my modeling skills. I’ve been trying to keep up my great work and work more and more every day. Although sometimes it is hard, I am trying to keep up.
On another note, I realized something extremely important to which I think a lot would underestimate. Never let anyone condition who you are. Let no judgment, no thought or perception destroy or damage who you are. The most important thing is you and your journey. Other people are important but not as important as you are to your being and self. Everyone seeks to make his image the best and unfortunately, in this world, there is more to this than the honest sheer reality of purity from the soul.
Decide for yourself. Seek opinion but you have the gear and steer for your own journey. Not X or Y.
Your identity is yours to treasure and makes use of.
So Glad to have him back on track with the rest of my coming projects. Bob is the kiddo that never lost hope, and in fact, he turned 1 this month. I’m so happy to have planned and geared some matter to his direction, to a possible dope video.
My storyboard is underway and I will soon be posting some storyboard ideas I had in mind to get this character back on track.
Oh I found this interesting ceramic artist the other day and thought to share it here:
The designs she is able to create the reused material is impressive and somewhat incredible. Although she did fail, haha she didn’t keep herself from doing what she really loved. This is a testimony that doing what you love is the only success you need.
I have been preparing a lot of material for the coming lectures and all of this is quite exciting! My students are doing an amazing job with their portfolio and I am very happy with their performance.
Hope you too are having an amazing sunny day as mine.
Away from comfort, I shall start this journey! Today was the day where I finally started planning out my year, my new chapter and my new ambitious self! All in the power to do good and be good, I have developed a well-structured timetable where I can retrain my body, my mental capabilities, and my inner peace.
Although I have scheduled something that is simple, I feel that having a simple and clear objective will provide a clear and stable conscious of the way I want to work in the coming months. Together with this I have evaluated and sought to extract the dream goal to which I want all of this to unfold on, and with the sheer commitment, I will hard to redevelop my portfolio and focus on attaining this position.
Through Learning, Hard work, Graditute, and Self Empowerment I will reach the next level of excellence.
I’m not shy to say this but I have days like today, where I feel I lost my way.
I apply for jobs, one after the other and although the majority will say that they are impressed at how many milestones and achievements I have obtained at such young age, I feel I don’t know who I am! After over 500 applications, I feel I lost it all.
This reminds me when at my 3rd grade, I felt I had nothing worth and somehow I didn’t get anything in class and was too slow to understand anything. Not only have I conquered the coming years, but I have savagely worked day and night to reach all possible milestones to be here today. Although I did have setbacks, I did struggle, I was constantly bullied, and stupidly judged, I have fought like a real fighter and really did my utmost to beat any negative vibes.
I want to get that young spirit, that wild and fearless Michelle back in my life. Life is not easy and I don’t want it easy. It will push me down and I will forcefully pull myself back up.
I am not in shape, I am not happy like this, I have an option to get this vibe out of the system and WORK back up. No matter all the No’s and rejections that I will get, I am going to work my ass off.
I will make 2018 a great year. I am going to give it my best, and I will be the wild child that will push away all the negative stance that people echo in my ears. I will push away my negative and sense of giving up into one that wants to achieve. I have lived, worked and had rough days the past two years, but I never gave up on anything I did.
There are good people, out there. I am one of them too.
After 3 weeks keeping myself busy and focused, there is already a sense of change within me. I’m looking at things in ways, that I have not done in quite a while. Away from everything that is dull and real, I’m trying to extract and understand the sheer reality of beauty. Although this beauty is not a presentation, I’m focusing on how to become more positive and vibrant within my daily commutes and working environment.
Taking away all that responds to negative thoughts, I am pushing myself into understand the motivational and promising voice within myself. This kind of cheer, was real when I was young ; growing up and somehow through life worries and anxieties I turned all of this into a sheer package of fear and negativity.
Trying to take this turmoil away I am trying to face, and challenge myself in becoming good and appreciative person. Depending on nobody, and comparing myself to nobody I am trying to focus just on my journey. Unlike other years I am taking and reviewing other people success, as an example and way forward within this journey.
Understanding, that my journey is unique, mine and it has a fulfilling quality that only I need to see and work on it. Focusing on it, with all my heart and strength will be my guiding force to be good and do good things.
The energy that there is within the video is somewhat beautifully remarkable, and this is the energy that we all should convey to all the doubts and fears that restrict and make us disbelief of what we can do.
I believe that working on structure and system development, I can find my way back into understanding what I want.
This mechanism not only will it fuel, some motivation, but it will develop a degree of discipline to which I can revive and revalue the processes to become a better self. This attitude and way of approaching the need to become a better self will change significantly the value within.
Having already developed a proper attitude of understanding, I acknowledge that this is the way forward into changing and developing who I am.
I know how great I am and I will let no downfall, condition who I am. I am the greatest and although time and situations, do test this, I know that I have enough strength to look forward into becoming a stronger me.