When the going gets tough, the tough get going

Right now I’m working on my first 3d work of 2018.

 

It’s been a long time coming, but it is fine. I have given myself time off, to breath and live. To stop pressuring myself and feel that it is fine not to be constantly perfect. Being an artist or any sort of creative is not an easy way of being, but it is who I am. Somehow although I acknowledge this power, I feel sometimes lost and not confident at all.

Constantly going to job interviews, and getting the same response has not really helped me at all. To this, I have questioned and asked myself so many questions to which I have never experienced before. Looking at things and unfocusing on me, has made me struggle again what I really want to be. What is my goal in life? Is it really this? Is this what I worked but ass off? Is this what I deserve?

Having been on schedule, on point, in time and well coordinated for the past twenty years, I feel that this is all new to me. I feel that I have constantly conditioned who I was to the system that defined me. Funnily enough, I did everything right but nothing that right. I sought to gain knowledge in places where they blind me from the real raw reality of life. Only now I acknowledge this mental paralysis that has defined me for so many years, has really changed who I am.

Taking all of this and acknowledging my pitfall, I am trying to live in the now. Forget about my worries and past battles that I have still not shaken away. I feel I sometimes live in the past and the future and never focus on the now, which I feel bad thinking about it now.  I hunger to live, but I feel scared it will soon fade away. I need to understand that this is fine, and I have only now to live for. Tomorrow is nothing but a prediction, and this is what I need to think about and understand.

There is self-worth in me and I know. Although not everyone will think this about you, the person that matters is you and only you. The worth is not the many palaces you buy and the beautiful cars you drive, but it is the untouchable beauty that resides in you. I have dreams to case and birds to let loose.

People that we love will never fade away, and this is what will testify the passing of time. Only memories like this should live in me. Let go of what you can’t fix and pursue the best parts of what makes you. Kill all the insecurities and case the beautiful now with all your heart.

This expression is mine, and there is nothing wrong with it.

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michelinmission I know you can find yourself again!

its here again

Guess who is back !!

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Bob is back! 😀

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So Glad to have him back on track with the rest of my coming projects. Bob is the kiddo that never lost hope, and in fact, he turned 1 this month. I’m so happy to have planned and geared some matter to his direction, to a possible dope video.

My storyboard is underway and I will soon be posting some storyboard ideas I had in mind to get this character back on track.

What else?

Oh I found this interesting ceramic artist the other day and thought to share it here:

 

The designs she is able to create the reused material is impressive and somewhat incredible. Although she did fail, haha she didn’t keep herself from doing what she really loved. This is a testimony that doing what you love is the only success you need.

I have been preparing a lot of material for the coming lectures and all of this is quite exciting! My students are doing an amazing job with their portfolio and I am very happy with their performance.

Hope you too are having an amazing sunny day as mine.

All the best micheliners.

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Michelinmission

it all starts here

Away from comfort, I shall start this journey! Today was the day where I finally started planning out my year, my new chapter and my new ambitious self! All in the power to do good and be good, I have developed a well-structured timetable where I can retrain my body,  my mental capabilities, and my inner peace.

Although I have scheduled something that is simple, I feel that having a simple and clear objective will provide a clear and stable conscious of the way I want to work in the coming months. Together with this I have evaluated and sought to extract the dream goal to which I want all of this to unfold on, and with the sheer commitment, I will hard to redevelop my portfolio and focus on attaining this position.

Through Learning, Hard work, Graditute, and Self Empowerment I will reach the next level of excellence.

Stay Focused and Positive Micheliners!

MichelinMission 🙂

Feeling like a total fail.

I’m not shy to say this but I have days like today, where I feel I lost my way.

I apply for jobs, one after the other and although the majority will say that they are impressed at how many milestones and achievements I have obtained at such young age, I feel I don’t know who I am! After over 500 applications, I feel I lost it all.

This reminds me when at my 3rd grade, I felt I had nothing worth and somehow I didn’t get anything in class and was too slow to understand anything. Not only have I conquered the coming years, but I have savagely worked day and night to reach all possible milestones to be here today. Although I did have setbacks, I did struggle, I was constantly bullied, and stupidly judged, I have fought like a real fighter and really did my utmost to beat any negative vibes.

I want to get that young spirit, that wild and fearless Michelle back in my life. Life is not easy and I don’t want it easy. It will push me down and I will forcefully pull myself back up.

I am not in shape, I am not happy like this, I have an option to get this vibe out of the system and WORK back up. No matter all the No’s and rejections that I will get, I am going to work my ass off.

I will make 2018 a great year. I am going to give it my best, and I will be the wild child that will push away all the negative stance that people echo in my ears. I will push away my negative and sense of giving up into one that wants to achieve. I have lived, worked and had rough days the past two years, but I never gave up on anything I did.

There are good people, out there. I am one of them too.

This is my mission.

Stay Awake, Stay Focused and Stay Positive.

Michelinmission 

Clearing off my room

Today, marking one week off this journey I kicked it off with a big cleansing operation. Moving all my work in a new room, I took off unwanted stuff and started clearing off, years of hidden treasures. It was not easy but now I feel accomplished, and clearer. Somehow checking and removing unwanted items was a necessity I had to do after graduating, but never had the real time and dedication to do.

I feel that start afresh, renovating and changing my space is somewhat needed. Although I have always been allowed to work in any space given, I honestly have never had my own studio. My room and this has created a sort of constant anxiousness within me. Having my mom complaining about all the clutter, I feel at times I had to stick to my guns and finish a task no matter what.

Having a space to be is somehow liberating. A space, where the only rules and position is only yours.

Some cool shelfing I have been looking into;

Mi sueño, algún día tendré un estudio así.

Drawers - perfect flat storage. Would die for a wall of these. For the paper, the wood, acrylic ect...

 

office idea - desk with shelves for lots of books, etc.

Speak Soon Micheliners.

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Michelinmission

 

#Somethingtothinkabout

 

“Disneyland is presented as imaginary in order to make us believe that the rest is real, whereas all of Los Angeles and the America that surrounds it are no longer real, but belong to the hyperreal order and to the order of simulation. It is no longer a question of a false representation of reality (ideology) but of concealing the fact that the real is no longer real, and thus of saving the reality principle.” -Jean Baudrillard ,Simulacra and Simulation

Where he tries to evaluate the exterior image of the imperfect DISNEY WORLD to the condition that the outer space provides. A dichotomy in which it portrays the difference as found within social media. Taking it to a visual account, as the controversial street artists BANKSY in his work portrays this dichotomy to us all to see.

 

Taking this to account is this the hidden reality of the SOCIAL MEDIA? Are we being controlled? Is this the fantasy we live in whilst browsing the online interface? Are we in control?

Invisible relationships build via. network. Is this Connection?

‘Something they can’t get in real life’

The following video is a visual representation of the negative and positive comments found online, addressing the image and the ways people interact with one another. Are we hiding within these spaces? is this a virtual reality.

Essena O’Neill, as she states below she describes the manipulative side of being a social media sensation.

But for people like this the online platform is the accessibility and a means of interacting….an Accessibility !

Finding the weaker parts of the world and amending it.

‘Fight for the freedom of the Web’