Away from comfort, I shall start this journey! Today was the day where I finally started planning out my year, my new chapter and my new ambitious self! All in the power to do good and be good, I have developed a well-structured timetable where I can retrain my body, my mental capabilities, and my inner peace.
Although I have scheduled something that is simple, I feel that having a simple and clear objective will provide a clear and stable conscious of the way I want to work in the coming months. Together with this I have evaluated and sought to extract the dream goal to which I want all of this to unfold on, and with the sheer commitment, I will hard to redevelop my portfolio and focus on attaining this position.
Through Learning, Hard work, Graditute, and Self Empowerment I will reach the next level of excellence.
I’m not shy to say this but I have days like today, where I feel I lost my way.
I apply for jobs, one after the other and although the majority will say that they are impressed at how many milestones and achievements I have obtained at such young age, I feel I don’t know who I am! After over 500 applications, I feel I lost it all.
This reminds me when at my 3rd grade, I felt I had nothing worth and somehow I didn’t get anything in class and was too slow to understand anything. Not only have I conquered the coming years, but I have savagely worked day and night to reach all possible milestones to be here today. Although I did have setbacks, I did struggle, I was constantly bullied, and stupidly judged, I have fought like a real fighter and really did my utmost to beat any negative vibes.
I want to get that young spirit, that wild and fearless Michelle back in my life. Life is not easy and I don’t want it easy. It will push me down and I will forcefully pull myself back up.
I am not in shape, I am not happy like this, I have an option to get this vibe out of the system and WORK back up. No matter all the No’s and rejections that I will get, I am going to work my ass off.
I will make 2018 a great year. I am going to give it my best, and I will be the wild child that will push away all the negative stance that people echo in my ears. I will push away my negative and sense of giving up into one that wants to achieve. I have lived, worked and had rough days the past two years, but I never gave up on anything I did.
There are good people, out there. I am one of them too.
Sometimes you need to vent out the suppression that engulfs within this reality that we are unknowingly living in. Distant and away you need time to think and embrace this reality that identifies me from you.
In the past week I felt a huge element of frustration that this whole social media life that I am living in is providing me with. It is as though I am just enslaved to its power and the only interaction that I have with it, are needs and obligations that other want me to respond to. From Likes to hearts, to comments, and feedback, the social interaction seemed more than ever as something linear and anything but interactive.
This frustrated me in many ways. Although I cannot exactly provide a clear outlook to this frustration, I can use symbols to help out with explaining this overwhelming notion of being in such a position.
Looking into it as the way you look into food. The appearance to a delightful platter of crispy glazed onion rings with a side dish or what anything but great food, most of the time deceives within that instant bite you take. Realising that it was nothing that you have actually imagined off, creating the initial part of this disappointment.
Together with this social media tends to give us that instant pleasure that is most of the time superficially needed ;/ and suppressed the minute you eat everything and the only available button left would be the refresh button. Waiting hesitantly for that like, heart, news feed anything but new, for you to eat or find.
To think about it. I can think about thing , that is how mentally and physiologically drained we have truly become.
where on earth has that 7 year kid with passion to create and invent go? how did we survive before? how did other people survive without this bubble of us and no we?
Sometimes the most astonishing discoveries are reserved within the outdoors that we live in. Away and distant we tend to distinguish our parallels with those that surround us. The need to detach and merge ourselves on a lone journey will dis-value the greater discovery that lies within the connection that everything that surrounds me has on me.
Within the following posts I will be understanding and finding interconnecting parallels that will allow me to understand the environment that surrounds and all of us dissolve in.
The video Enigma is a work that documents and narrates an experience that is made up of multilevel degrees of contrasting parallels. Such a narration finds its roots and initiation in a static apparition of an ash tree that is placed, repeated several times within the same shoot. The viewer has no idea what is going to happen and thus the apparition of the opulent eye stands as a contrasting undertone that is quickly disturbed by the denser tree shoot that marks a significant contrast with the light tone trees exposed in the initial entry shoot. The eye stands as a blinking transition to the following development.
Although the viewer has no vacant notion of what the whole thing is about, the music directs the focus towards an internal part of a persona. The ambience upon which such a person is reliant and finding itself in does not seem to confine well, thus the round motion brings out an ideology of disorientation. The swinging and roundness found in shapes becomes denser and more constant as the film moves further. This elemental quality allows the viewer to become increasingly anxious and still unaware of what will happen further on to the next sequential shoots.
Time finds no sense of functionality as the sequence is pushed back and forth. Motion has no sense of space and is directed into revolving sequential narrative that makes the viewer think and sink deeper into the allegory that is found within such a persona. The only calming parallel that is seen within such a chaotic environment is the hands and the gestures that the persona is capable to establish.
This establishing shoot makes an initiation to more subtle shoots that eventually become increasingly effective through the development of such a narrative. The elemental quality of water and focus stands as a significant part of the development which tries to resolve the pre sequential environment that previously did not elude a sense of belonging. The environment is deeply evaluated and the following shoots bring out a new tonal element for this concept video. The inner qualities of different anatomical features that are distributed within different shoots bring out the inner formations that are of awakening for the persona within the narrative.
The saturated tonal values, allow the viewer to acknowledge the layered tones that such hues distribute to the elemental meaning of the shoots presented. The silhouette effect found within sheds an increasingly significant outline for such tonal shade. The persona within such a shoot finds a constructive freedom that is still undermined with the situation that it is facing. The oppressive yet playful act of bringing out geometric forms makes the whole thing interesting to value and keep in mind.
Although the narrative moves into a development that resolves into something of more aesthetical value to it one is able to still question the purposes of such a formation. The persona is the only motivator that can control the passage of time. A sudden glimpse of the subject takes motion and we are able to get into the inner physicality of this perspective. Movement follows a sequence that is recurrent from one stage to the next of the narrative.
Time starts to follow an increasing pace that allows the viewer to move into another stage of the narration. The sudden and drastic formation of such shoots make the viewer feel uneasy and unable to establish sense from the narrative that he is unconsciously trying to solve. Yet like before the faithful hand and the small beads stand as a relevance of such turmoil. The change in angle shoot brings out a significant understanding of such a narration.
Although everything stands as over passing and chaotic for the viewer the narrative finds tranquillity in this mayhem, that is phased in through taking the perspective of the camera shoot. The subtle light and opening up of doors and windows make the viewer anxious to know the purposes of such a development. Moving into light or into darkness?
The dragging waves that stand on the sea bed, let the viewer wonder the existentiality of such a scenario. Where has the persona vanished? The eye is foreshadowed again, and one can see that the inner sense of such a situation brought out an acknowledgement of something. Time and space are never as straight forward as one would appreciate to be.
But such a narrative allows the viewer to understand that life is a series of confusion and there is no sense of mundanely in its relevance. The depth of such images will always remain a mysterious allegory that only the voice within can shed an honest understanding of all the chaos presented.
The clean aesthetic that this work brings out sheds a deeper understanding of my personality with the piece of Grappelli and his sound. The music Evokes a sense of liberation that brings out a development of such sort. The main principles are connected within each other and I am working hard to reveal the true energy that will transcend from one viewer to another.
The touch of bow pressure together with the beautiful sound of vibrato resonates within the structure that one can see from the above results. The poignant and beautiful abstraction that results make me feel deeper upon this connection that I am striving to achieve.